Witchy Wonderings

Quitting?

2006-07-24T23:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I'm even going to try keeping this up anymore. I'm just not feeling it for the past month or two, as my lack of posting has shown. I'm not going to delete the blog, because I like having it around, but I don't think I'm going to post anymore.

I'm sorry to all of my readers, if I start up again I will let you know. Just leave a comment here with your email address if you'd like to be notified if and when I start back up again. If I do, I imagine it will be at a new address and probably alot more anonymous.

Also, I'm sorry to whoever gets my blog for review from it2m. I know it's shitty when people submit their blogs and then close them down, so I'll send in a request to be taken off the list. But in case it doesn't work that way, please accept my apologies, everyone.

Update

2006-07-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

Just an update. The kid was SERIOUSLY sick and his stupid ass mother took him on vacation with her because she "really needed a break and there will be people who can watch him."

Well, after self diagnosing and giving him antibiotics, she finally took him to the childrens hospital on Thursday (a week after his symptoms showed up). The kid has bacterial menengitis! For a fucking week! They told her that he'll be in the hospital for at least 2 weeks, and they have no idea how or if he will pull through. I can't even imagine what it would be like for this poor kid if he ends up paralyzed or mentally damaged because of his mothers ignorance and neglect. It's disgusting. He is already mentally 1 year old, what will he be like if he is mentally damaged? It's truly horrifying.

It's been almost a week now that he's been in the hospital, and I haven't heard anything. I am just sick over this.

Awwww...

2006-07-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd share a little project I made.

FOAD Saturday

2006-07-15T11:08:00.000-07:00

So, two Mondays ago, we dropped the girls off at Kathy's house for her week visitation. The next evening, she calls me on my cell to tell me that her boyfriend's step-mom died, and they have to fly out to Indiana for the funeral and to help his dad out. Ok, no problem. They can't afford plane tickets for the girls, so can we take them? Sure, no problem at all. She tells me they will definately be home on Monday, so they can take the girls then. I told her this is no problem, but please make sure you're on time because this is screwing with our vacation plans. She says they will DEFINATELY be home Monday.

Well, Monday came and went. I dug up the phone number of her neighbor only to find out that she is flying in Wednesday at nearly midnight. Now, let me be very clear. Us taking the girls for a few extra days is NO PROBLEM. Really, if she needed us to take them for an extra year, we would not object to that at all. But the bitch didn't even call us. For all she knew, we were sitting around watching the news to find out if her plane crashed or some shit. The girls were hysterical wondering where she was, we had no idea if she died, was abandoning them, or was just being the inconsiderate bitch that she always is. Once I got ahold of the neighbor, we knew it was the latter.

So Thursday afternoon she calls, wanting me to feel sorry for her because she's had a long week. I tell her we've had a long week too, what with us not knowing if she was coming home or not.

Her response? "I didn't know we'd be staying longer!"

Stop. Did she seriously just say that? I told her "You knew on Monday that you weren't coming home."

And her intelligent, well thought-out reasoning? "Oh, I'm sorry."

Later, she calls me and starts giving me a guilt trip because she didn't get any school pictures of the girls this year. This is when I had to politely remind her that she is the one who threw away the order form without telling me it even came because she couldn't afford pictures. So I told her she was shit out of luck, and that if she wanted pictures of them, she could jog her happy ass to the mall and have a set done just like we had to. So she says, "Well, I really wanted some 8x10's." To which I replied, "Well, I think that package is pretty expensive, so you'll have to save up."

Click. Stupid bitch needs to stop calling me.

More bitching

2006-07-12T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry I'm slacking on the blogging again. I am really starting to suck at this. Work has been absolutely exhausting lately. We have only had one kid for a week now, and he is a grand total of about an hours worth of work stretched out in a four hour day. The other three hours? I'm sitting on my ass reading a book and watching Nemo. There isn't even anything left to clean. Only two days left though, and then I'll be bitching about my need for a summer job. I spent today making his breakfast and lunch menu for the rest of the week, so I won't even have that to do tomorow.

Anyway, if you want to see me writing, go on over to Did I Say That?, where I just made moderator. I am so happy for me.

Answers to the shameless plea for meme's

2005-05-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

Ok, I knew I would regret that! Just kidding. Thanks for responding everyone!

Master Foley

The only one not trying to embarrass me!!!

What do you want to do with that degree when you are done?

Well, IF I get done, I want a job with kids. Not sure what job, but I know I want to work with kids, maybe in the psychology field. After summer, I'm hoping to get a job in the severely handicapped classroom at the local elementary school.

Phoibos

What's your full name and why is it that? Do you have any embarrassing nicknames we should know about?

My full name is Samantha Corrinne GoogleDodger. Samantha came from an old Pepsi commercial, where there is a little girl on a little league baseball team, and the boys keep picking on her because, well, she's a girl. Then, she scores the winning homerun in the end, and all the guys come up to her, slapping her on the back, and say "Way to go Sam!" At this, she takes her cap off, shakes her hair down her back, and says, "It's Samantha."

Corrinne was supposed to be spelled Coryn, after the character on that old T.V. show 'Soap,' but my dad protested because, appearantly, the character was a bit of a super-slut. So, he agreed to it as long as the spelling was changed.

Embarrasing nicknames? Well, my dad's always called me 'Fred'. It started with him always saying "Ready, Freddy?" and then developed into a nickname. My friends in high school called me 'Bloody Mary' because of a little, um, "mess" I made while losing my virginity on a friends bed. Yea, you get the picture.

Rachel

Hmmmm... as many times as I've seen this one, you'd think I would already know which three to pick! Ok, here goes nothing:

If I could be a missionary... I would piss alot of people off. ;)

If I could be a psychologist... I would totally fuck with people. Nothing better to break the ice than to start a discussion with the little purple people who live in my desk drawer, huh?

If I could be a witch... Ok, is it totally cheating that I'm picking this one?

Mongakim

What was the most embarrassing sexual encounter you ever had?

Ooooh, that's a tough one. Should it be my initiation into the world of pussy farts*? How about the Winnebago with no shocks? Ooooh, I know. How about the time all of my friends got to watch me having sex.

Ok, my ex, Adam, and I were very... spontanious when we had sex. Nobody and nothing could stop us when the mood hit us. We were at this week-long house party, and everyone had paired up and gone to their respective bedrooms, and we were left all alone in the living room. So, we grabbed a sheet and started going at it on the floor. Well, Adam wasn't exactly a quickie kind of guy, and two-by-two, everyone seemed to take turns coming into the living room and then running away giggling. This wasn't too bad, we were a very *ahem* close group of friends. The embarrassing part was when Marty (the most annoying guy in the world) came running into the living room, grabbed our sheet, and started screaming "FIRE!!! FIRE!!! EVERYBODY, THERE'S A FIRE!!!!" So, there we are, naked as a flasher in 1975, laying in the middle of the living room floor, when everybody in the house came running into the living room. I ran behind the curtains, only to find out that three couples had retreated to cars, and were standing there staring at my big, white, naked ass. Yea, I still haven't lived that one down.

Ocelot

What do you consider the best attribute of Samantha? Or in other words: What do you feel makes you special?

Oh, man. This is a tough one too! Ok, I guess my best attribute is my ability to listen. When someone is telling me something, I listen with everything that I am. This is the main reason why I am torn on the idea of entering the field of psychology. I feel that I would be very good at it, but I'm also fearful of it because when I listen, I *really* listen, and I tend to take people problems on as my own.

* I wonder how many Google hits this will bring!

FOAD Thursday

2006-07-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

What the fuck is wrong with people?

This morning, I got to work to find out one of the kids in my class is running a fever. Now, every parent has overlooked a sneaky illness in their kids for a few minutes, and mornings can be seriously hecktic. Triple this when your kid is non communicative. We've sent sick kids home several times because it's hard to tell when they are sick sometimes, and it's totally forgivable once in a while.

The difference here is that the mother KNEW he was running a fever of 101! She even wrote in the journal that he was hot all night, but she thought "it was because he was under the blankets all night." On what planet will heavy blankets raise your internal temprature to 101? Seriously? And when I saw this poor kid, I could tell imediately that he was seriously sick. His cry was wrong, his face was pale, and he wasn't even fighting his restraints that he has to wear on the bus.

The second we finally coaxed him into the classroom, he fell dead asleep on the bean bag. This kid does not sleep. He is always running around, pulling hair, screaming, knocking things over, anything but sleeping. He even slept through his feedings. (He is tube fed) He slept the entire 4 hour day, barely waking when we changed his diaper. If she doesn't keep him home tomorow, I just might freak out. Seriously, how can you not know that your own child is THAT sick!?

Job Duties

2006-07-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

There was a question posted on my favorite advise blog tonight that really got me thinking. I didn't want to get all philosophical and shit in the comments, so I thought I would expand here.

The question asker has a friend dying of cancer, her third close death from cancer in only a few years. While this woman is fully willing to be there for her friend until the very end, she is struggling with thoughts of "how can I go through this again?" I can't imagine how hard this must be for her, and I certainly can't pretend to imagine what her friend is going through, so I'm not here to pass judgement on her hidden feelings. I imagine I would probably have them too.

My theory is that fate hands us all job duties in life. Perhaps it's karma to be worked off, or perhaps it's just that we're chosen because we're so damn good at it. It seems that one of my job duties in life is to comfort the sick and dying. My draw to working with severely handicaped children is one clue, as is my desire to become involved in the foster care system. The big one for me lately though, is the 4 kittens that died on us this year. I found myself asking many times why we let ourselved do this. Many people would have simply taken them to the pound or to a vet and dropped them off, and I wouldn't think poorly of them. But I couldn't do that. Three of the four I held until they took their last breaths. Why were these dying kittens sent to me? Why have I had 5 litters come to me in the past 3 years?

Because it's my job, that's why. Because if it weren't for me, all 7 of them would have died, and they would have died cold and hungry. Because of me, those kittens felt love, and full stomachs, and warmth. Because of the homes we found for the survivors, there is just a little bit more love in the world. Because of the ones that died in my home, my step-daughters know about death. They know that sometimes death comes no matter how hard you try to stop it, and that it's not always a bad thing. If my job description says that I have to hold a hundred kittens while they die so that they can feel love and food and warmth for a few hours, then I'll do it. It will be hard, but I'll do it.

I'm a gross pig

2006-07-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

So today I woke up from my NyQuil induced sleep at 7 'o-fucking-clock and checked my email and shit. At 8, I went back to bed and slept until 3. It was awesome. I woke up feeling almost human, and decided to go grocery shopping. The fucking floral dept got my sinuses draining like a faucet, and I had to open a box of Kleenex. Do you have any idea how sexy I felt walking through the store blowing my nose and storing it in my purse? DISGUSTING! Tomorow I'm going to survive on sudafed so I can get through work. How could one head make this much snot?

Happy 4th!

2006-07-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Fourth of July everyone! I'm still full of snot, but I'm sure I'll be back with something to bitch about tomorow!

Blah

2006-07-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. I have to work tomorow. I'm a little depressed. Chris is pissing me off. The girls are still breathing. Zeebo won't get the fuck off of me. I'm totally not blogging tonight. Need. Nyquil.

GRRR!!!

2006-06-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

A year ago my mom took in a 15 year old girl as a foster child. She is a friend of my sisters who got into some trouble after her parents got busted selling drugs, and she ran away. She was eventually caught and put in a really horrible group home. So, my mom took her in and things were great.

Well, she was sent back to her parents just last week. She didn't fight it like she did at her 6 month hearing, which was strange but we just figured she had resigned herself to the fact that the courts were going to send her back anyway so she might as well not make waves.

Three days ago, she and my sister went to Vegas to spend a few days with a guy friend and his parents for a mini vacation. No big deal, her mom even went with her. Small vacations are pretty common since we live in such a small town. This male friend and her had been talking about dating when she turns 18 and graduates high school. None of us were worried though, because she developed a GREAT relationship with my whole family, and we all saw her as a really smart, reasonable 16 year old girl, and the male friend has been burned by underage girls and knows better.

Well, we were all fucking wrong. They got married and are currently on their way to Canada. Her stupid ass mother signed the papers to consent to the marriage and get her passport. Her dad is going to flip the fuck out over this, and her mom is probably going to be physically thrown out the door if she's lucky to make it that far. In the meantime, my mom is home by herself crying because she's been lied to for the past 8 months about this whole engagement scheme. She feels like she is too unimportant to be in on the whole deal even though she agrees that the dad is a piece of shit and she even acctually suggested that they do that several months ago (jokingly, but still.)

I am so pissed at these two. Not only for being idiots, but for lying to my mom and making her feel like shit. If nothing else, they owe her an apology. I'm trying to cool off before I write her a strongly worded email. Am I overreacting? Is this none of my business? My whole thing is that my mom opened her heart and her home to this girl, only for her to lie and throw it all away. Who the hell even knows if she can finish high school now? I guess it's just normal 16 year old stupid drama bullshit, but I really thought she was smarter than that. I feel like I've been lied to because I believed she was what she claimed to be.

Poor mans vacation

2006-06-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

So after this week, I have two weeks left of summer school until I'm off work for the summer. The first week I'm off we will be without the kids. That gives us 7 days by ourselves with no kids and no responsibility. Normally, this would mean Vegas, but we are broker than broke. This was depressing me because we usually squeeze in some sort of vacation every summer, even if it's just a couple of nights.

Then an idea came to me. Who needs money when you have a minivan? We are going to drive west until we hit water, in the general direction of Pismo Beach. Once we hit Pismo, we'll be on the Pacific Coast Highway, and everything north and south of us is pretty much beach. We will put the pull-out couch matress in the back, pack a cooler full of food, and camp out wherever we can find somewhere that won't get us arrested. I figure we can stay gone for about 3 nights before we are dying for a bed.

So, come the 17th of July, we will be gone, traveling like true hippies in a soccermom van. We'll have gas, loud music, and sand. All together I figure the whole venture will cost us about $100, and I can make that up babysitting if I need to. I have never been more excited about a vacation in my life.

HPV rant

2006-06-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

There is a debate running around the medical/religious communities about a vaccine for HPV (human papillomavirus), the virus that causes nearly all cases of cervical cancer in this country. (Google HPV for more info) The debate goes like this:

This vaccine would virtually wipe out cervical cancer in our country. If it were made a mandatory vaccine for girls ages 9-13 (I'd shoot for younger), then to our childrens children, cervical cancer would be as obscure as Polio is today. It would virtually be gone. (There are unexplained cases of cervical cancer where HPV was never detected, as mine was, but the main thought on this in cases of sexually active women is that by the time the precancerous cells were detected, the virus was gone.)

The against side of this generally holds one of two thoughts. 1) Giving children a vaccine that protects against a sexually transmitted disease is like giving them a free ticket to have unprotected sex. Now, first of all, what does everyone think the HepB vaccine is for? Heppatitis is transferred through bodily fluid exchange. Second, HPV is not transmitted through fluids, it's transfered through skin to skin contact. In other words, a condom won't always protect you.

2) The vaccine should not be mandatory. These are generally the people who don't think any vaccines should be mandatory, and I respect their right to feel that way, especially with recent evidence of mercury in vaccines contributing to the rising autism rates. But, if it weren't for vaccines, we would still be fighting many deadly diseases that are now of the past. Polio and small pox are two that come to mind right away. These parents have the choice to deny vaccinations if they would like to keep their children out of public schools. A hard choice to make, but in my mind it is worth it if it stops an epidemic.

If you couldn't tell, I am a strong supporter of the HPV vaccine. HPV is a huge array of viruses all related. Here are a few stats: "An estimated 20 million women and men in the United States are infected with HPV but, for most, the virus shows no symptoms and goes away on its own. Cervical cancer is the second most common malignant disease in women globally, causing an estimated 290,000 deaths worldwide each year. In the United States, some 10,400 new cases will be diagnosed this year, and 3,700 women will die from the disease."

Now, how can we ignore that? 290,000 yearly worldwide is a HUGE number of dead women who could still be alive because of a damn shot! If this shot were available when I was a girl, I would have to sit here and wonder if I can concieve and carry a child. If it was available when I was a girl, I wouldn't carry the label of "cancer survivor" right now. Sure, it's a great thing to be a survivor, but what 19 year old girl wants her first pap smear to show cancer? If I can save my daughters from going through this, then I will beg borrow and steal to make it happen. This is not a vaccine against an STD, it's a vaccine against cancer.

New song of the moment

2006-06-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

I have found a new favorite song of the moment. I have always said that in my past life, I died of an overdose at Woodstock in the middle of a three-way kiss. This song sums up my feelings beautifully.

Carpet sucks.

2006-06-24T22:46:00.000-07:00

I had no idea carpeting was such a huge pain in the ass. There really wasn't anything horribly difficult about it, but by the time we were done, we were exhausted. The painting I've done before. Moving everything I think was the worst. When painting, you can just sort of shift everything back and forth, but to carpet we had to move everything out of our living room because we had to replace the padding too. Did I mention that our carpet was laid in 1987, and it was used? Yeah, it was thrashed. The padding was little more than dust in the high traffic spots.

The biggest obsticle was when we got all of the carpet up. You see, about 4-5 months ago, my father in law (whom we rent this house from) had a friend who offered him some free carpet. This friend owns some senior apartments, and between renters they are required to change all carpeting. They told my FIL that the carpet was only 3 months old, and basically in perfect condition. But, because it was lived on, it had to be torn up. So he jumped at it and brought home a whole truckload of nearly brand new carpet.

So, we painted the living room and ripped up the old carpet. Then we pulled out the new stuff and laid it on the lawn to measure out. It was disgusting. There were spots completely saturated with urine, cigarette burns everywhere, some mysterious black spots that went into the 6' square range, just completely unuseable. The in-laws had to go get some new shit. It's not bad carpet at all, acctually it's pretty damn nice, but still. They didn't go into this venture to spend $300 on carpet when they are already overdrawn on all of their cards.

Anyway, on to more interesting news, it appears that, despite my clear intentions, we have a new member of the family. Pictures of Zeebo will be posted as soon as I find the cord to my camera. She was the only one not able to be adopted as she was still skinny and eating soft food, so she was supposed to stick around for another week or so before finding a home. That was about the time she got a name. Once they're named, it's all over. She is a little tiny all black female, and anyone who can tell me where the name Zeebo comes from will win a prize. (Aprox retail value of said prize will be $0.00 because I'm broke as shit, but I'll totally link to you.)

Edit: I forgot I had pictures on the computer already. Here she is!

Go do it.

2006-06-19T21:44:00.000-07:00

We will be painting and re-carpeting the living room for the next few days, so I don't know how long the computer will be out of commision. With the TV unplugged as well, I will have to acctually entertain myself from noon 'till bedtime for the entire time. Hopefully it won't be long. While I'm gone, show some love at my new hang-out place. They are some cool bitches, and they could use some more estrogen around there. There are like, 4 guys registered now and it's just stinking up the place.

Ok, ok. Guys can go too. But you better put on some damn deodorant first.

Google shit

2006-06-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

letting go of hate- Yes, let go of it. I also reccomend sending him a nasty email and ignoring any responses.

grand mahl seizures in animals- Need medication. Go to the vet.

password paypal megan- Um, I think you'll need better hacker skills than this.

dirty samantha- I am not!

justin witchy- I do not know any Justin, sorry.

witchy dollz- Are cute. Buy me one.

it-hurts-when-i-pee infection hurts sex- Get off google and go to the doctor. Oh, and stop sleeping around.

diaryland had anal sex- Um, ok...

p.s. you're not listening eleanor craig- Is a great book. Go get it.

i shaved my mother-in-law's pube- WTF? Get off my blog, sicko!

nursing dillema say or no to say- If you're ashamed to talk about nursing, you've got much bigger problems coming.

handle asshole customers pharmacy- Slip some xanax in their ulcer medicine.

my child was innapropriately touched by another child- Get thee off Google and to the police, asshole!

This and That

2006-06-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I owe you guys an update.

The remaining kittens are doing fine. We lost another one suddenly this morning. She was one of the ones we were worried about, really skinny and no energy, but she started getting better like crazy. She was feeding by herself, gaining weight, and playing like mad. (We had to stop her many times because the rest of them were too rough) Well, last night everybody discovered the dishwasher, and how fun it is to run underneath it. We decided that the next time they were all out, we would block it off. This morning she was still there, and we were unsuccessful in coaxing her out, but we knew she was there because she was crying. I got Chris up and he pulled the fridge out so I could get back there, and she was dead. Not more than a half hour after she was crying. We think either she overheated or she got into something underneath and poisoned herself.

So, we started with 5, then went down to 4, then up to 6, then down to 5, and now we're down to 4 again. Three of them are all furry and fat and cute and shit, so they get homes this Friday. The remaining skinny one is doing GREAT, but she's still dependant on soft food, so we'll keep her until she's crunching.

The girls are doing well. Megan is giving us a bit of a scare because the test this morning showed that her liver numbers are going up, so she has to go off of her ADHD meds for a while to find out if that is the reason. This will not be fun, but hopefully she can be back on something before school starts. She didn't get a single C all year, and I would hate to throw her in to middle school in September without her medicine. But, obviously, her health is the #1 priority.

Work is great. I got the summer school position, so starting next Monday I'll be working for 4 weeks. Money Money Money!

Oooh! We are working on digging out our last storage shed, and guess what I FINALLY found! My grandfathers WWII Germany camera! Oh, I was so relieved when I found it intact! The outer case is in horrible condition, but everything inside is still perfect! I'm going to take a bunch of pictures of it and do some research to see what it's acctually worth (not that I'd sell it, just for curiosity) and see if I can learn half of the doohickeys and diglehoppers on it to run a roll of film through it. If I could learn how to use it, I could take some awesome pictures, and I know my grandfather would be proud.

Other than that, life has been pretty uneventful. We're going to the lake alot now that it's hot out. We're also spending alot of time fixing up the property to see if it sells. The kittens are constantly underfoot, but soooooo cute. Chris is Chris. I'm spending less and less time online lately, which is good, but I miss my old blog and IM friends. Maybe someday I'll get back in the swing of things!

I'm alive, I swear!

2006-06-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I suck. Don't worry though, nothing horrible has happened, and I haven't forgotten all of my blogfriends! Lately, I just haven't felt like it. I keep thinking, "I need to blog, it's been too long." But then I just get distracted and end up putting it off until it's been 2 damn weeks. I really don't know if I even want to keep going, but I'm not going to officially quit just in case I get motivated to start again.

I'll try to get in here tonight and give a proper update. Right now I'm on my way to take Megan to the Doctors office to get some blood sucked. MWAHAHAHA!!!! Nothing bad, we hope. The last one showed some strange levels, and they want to check it out. Hopefull it's no big deal, we're really not worried. Anyway, proper update coming soon!

My job is easy, really.

2006-05-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

A funny thing has been happening since I started this job at the school. I constantly get people patting me on the back, telling me that they could never handle what I do, or that most people would never attempt such a difficult position. Maybe it's true that this type of work isn't for everyone, but I really don't see why. These are the most amazing kids I have ever met in my life. Everyday when I go to work, I know exactly what to expect. Not that everyday is the same, far from it, but I know that I don't have to worry about one of my kids bringing a gun to school, or stashing drugs in their pockets, or plotting revenge behind my back. General ed kids scare the crap out of me, and I hold such a huge admirition for those who can work with them. Working with the elderly makes me want to rip my hair out. Working with the general public makes me shake all over.

But these kids? Piece of cake. I know that every day I will have to change diapers. Sure, the diaper is on a 10 year old who weighs about 50 lbs., but I know what is coming. I know that I have to watch out for the autistic boy who likes to bite and grab hair, but I know his signs and how to stop him. I know that the Downs boy will flip me off if I discipline him, and I know how to react when he does so that it doesn't turn into a problem. I know that the ADHD girl will tell me anything in order to get out of going to her mainstreaming class, and I know all of her tricks and how to counter them.

I also know that when I see one of my kids on the street, it will be the highlight of their day, not an embarasment or a worry that I will tell their parents about the dirty picture they scratched into the desk because they DON'T DO THOSE THINGS! I know that the emotions they convey are real. I know that they don't pretend to like me for a grade, and they don't pretend to hate me to save face. I know that they are REAL. They are real in a way that none of us will ever be able to achieve.

New job

2006-05-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

Life is busy today. I am working all this week and next week at school, and I took on another job doing respite care for one of the students. He is 10 years old physically, but mentally around 1. That means that he is a 1 year old who can walk and run and bite and pull hair, but I know him and his behavior from school, so I know how to deal with him pretty well. The most challenging part is the fact that he's tube fed, but that's really not that difficult as long as I'm on my toes to keep him from swatting me away. His mother even walked me through what would happen and how to deal with it if his g-tube comes out, and it sounds like I could totally handle it.

Tonight will be my first night with him, and his grandmother will be there in case I can't find something, can't remember something, have a question, etc. I think this will be good. And at almost $9 an hour for basically babysitting, I think it will be really good. The only problem is that this means I'll be working a 9 hour day today, something I haven't done in over 2 years. I can handle it though. She wants me for 3 13 hour days in a row this July while she goes on vacation with her daughter. Her husband will be there during the night, but he works from 6am to 7pm so that will be my shift, plus on call all night in case he's called in to an emergency. That will be a bit more difficult, but I have 2 months to prepare. So, be ready for some crazy stories from my new job, this kid is incredibly unpredictable!

Failure

2006-05-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

I don't even know how to say this. I posted this on my kitten rescue site as well. Another of the kittens is dying as I type this. He basicaly stopped breathing almost 2 hours ago, but he is gulping down just enough air every 20 seconds or so to stay barely alive. This is the same thing that happened to the little girl. This afternoon, we thought we had kicked whatever was keeping his weight off. I ran out of formula, so I found a really good recipe online and started feeding it to everyone. He was suddenly full of more energy than I'd seen in days, and he started putting on body fat in a matter of half a day. Then, today I came home from work, just 3 hours after his last feeding, to find him laying on the bottom of their box, near death. That was almost 5 hours ago, and I don't know how he is still holding on. I pray that the end will come for him before I finish this sentence, but I'm afraid this may last a while longer.

His eyes are open, but seem blind. His mouth is open, presumably so he has an easier time with his sporatic breaths. His limbs are completely limp. He let go of his bowels and blatter, yet he is still with us somehow.

Chris feels that this is happening because of where they were born, inside a pile of car parts in my in-laws back shed. So many of those fluids cause cancer. Still, I feel like a failure. I have lost two of this litter now, and even though the other three are doing well, one of them is still thin. She is putting on weight like a champ, and I can barely tell her apart from her sister now, but I still feel like it's a lost cause. I go over every second of the time that they were here. Did I try to hard to wean them? They never went more than 6-7 hours between feedings, and even then, when they showed signs of a lack to strive, we went back to 3 hour feedings. Did they get chilled after a bath? They were covered in towels and snuggled with each other, that shouldn't be it.

I can't find anything I've done wrong, but I can't help but feel that this is a failure on my part. I am blinking his eyes for him, because I'm afraid they are drying out and becoming painful. I don't help him breathe because I don't want to prolong this anymore than it already is. When he was still breathing regularly, I tried to feed him, but he just choked on the formula, even a single drop, and I had to turn him upside down so he could spit it out. There is nothing left in his little body. All I can do is tell him that it's ok, that he can let go. I only wish he could.

FOAD

2006-05-21T19:49:00.000-07:00

So, I've decided that I'm going to attempt another weekly thing until I forget about it for so many weeks that there is no use in even trying. And, in true Witchy Wonderings form, I'm even going to start it on the wrong day.

Welcome to Fuck of and Die ~~Thursday~~ Monday!

We live in Chris' parents guest house. It's a cozy little two bed one bath, and yes, we acctually pay rent. Full rent for the time we moved in. The only reason they haven't raised it with the market is because we would throw a fucking fit.

Anyway, both houses are for sale right now. They can't afford their loan payments anymore, and if Chris' dad kicks the bucket, his mom will be left to live off of survivor benefits from his SSD, which will not work at all. So they are signed up with all of the local real estate agents to show both houses. The only limitations are that we must have 24 hours notice and no phone calls before 9am. WHY did we think that a single goddamned one of them would be able to read this shit?

Saturday morning, I got a phone call from one of the agents at 8:30am, asking me if I knew why the in-laws aren't answering their phone. I looked out the front door and saw that the windows were still closed, and told the ~~concerned~~ ~~hardworking~~ ~~eager~~ STUPID bitch that they are slepping. She then proceeds to tell me that there are people making the 3 hour drive from L.A. to see the houses at 10. And that woops! She knew about this a week ago and forgot to tell us.

Fire.

She tells me that the paperworks claims Chris has a key in case they are not home, so they can still get in and show the house. I tell her, yes, we do have a key, but that won't help because they are FUCKING ASLEEP! She pretends to be shocked that I could possibly get attitude with her, and says she'll call them again at 9. I inform her that she will not be able to show our house because we need 24 hours notice. I am raising 6 kittens in my living room, I have 2 kids, and it's FUCKING SATURDAY. The dishes aren't done, the floors aren't vacuumed, there is a pile of clean laundry on my couch the size of a full grown man, and strangers are NOT going to walk through my house!

She tried to complain to the in-laws, but they use worse language than I do. You'd think they would get it through their heads that PEOPLE LIVE HERE. People with lives and pets and kids and dishes.

So, to every real estate agent I've ever personally met, Fuck off and die.

RIP Little Girl

2006-05-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

For the past week and a half, my life has revolved around work and kittens, kittens and work. Today, one of the little girls passed. Everyone else seems healthy, although one of the boys isn't keeping weight on like I want him to. He is still eating alot though, and his energy levels are staying up.

Please, go and visit my kitten rescue site. If you can't help financially, even a link would be greatly appriciated.